Archive for the ‘funny’ CategoryThe sex toy market is growing all the time, but as well as some wonderful creations, there are an awful lot of utterly bizarre toys out there too. We’ve scoured the market and rounded up three of the most bizarre sex toys!
1. Hello Kitty Vibrator Hello Kitty vibrator, anyone? Sex toys and Hello Kitty designs don’t exactly go together like bread and butter. This bizarre vibrator was made in Japan, available in a wide choice of colour options and was originally sold as a neck massager. But its unusual shape, size and the vibrating ability led people to believe that it didn’t exactly ring true as a neck massager. Let’s just say, this neck massager is likely to have massaged much more than just people’s necks! 2. Butt Plug…With Added Clock Timed butt plug sex Most people using butt plugs aren’t worried about watching the time, but with this bizarre sex toy, you get more for you money! The simple butt plug has been enhanced by the bizarre addition of a clock on the end. Perhaps the person dishing out the butt plug pleasure could use it to time how long it can be used for, or maybe they need to remember to take it out before dinner. Either way, if you enjoy gadgets as well as sex toys, this could be the perfect butt plug for you. Have you spotted any other weird or bizarre sex toys? Share a comment and let us know of your weird and wonderful sex toy discoveries! 3. Gold Plated Vibrator Designer gold plated vibrator Of all the things you could have gold plated, a sex toy isn’t the first thing that springs to mind. This shiny, bizarre vibrator was made in Sweden and is expensive, as it has a price tag of $1500. The egg shaped vibrator is three inches long and is coated with splash-proof 18 karat gold plate. As you’re expect with a sex toy of this price, it comes in a wooden presentation box with a satin carry pouch. It seems a bit indulgent to say the least, especially as there are so many other sex toy materials available today. But if you have cash to splash and feel the need to experience orgasms via gold plated means, then this sex toy is available.
They’re one of the world’s greatest inventions, allow you to have safe sex and reduce the risk of catching sexually transmitted infections – no-one should be without a handy pack of condoms! But have you ever wondered if there could be other uses for condoms?
We did and we’re sure many of you have over the years (go on, tell us your discoveries!), so we’ve rounded up 10 weird, clever, crafty and downright silly alternative uses for the humble condom. 1. The Condom Umbrella CoverIt’s probably not the kind of use for a condom that you’d immediately think of, but when you see it done, you realise that it’s actually quite clever. Check out this suggestive video to get a glimpse of this in action! (We bet you didn’t think that was coming!). 2. The Condom Cake Icer Why not ice a cake with a condom? Never find a cake icing or frosting bag when you need one? Then how about using a condom instead! If you put the thought of the extra lubrication that could end up on your cake icing to one side (ewww!), it’s kind of a clever idea, as the condom can be used as an icing bag, a small hole snipped at the end and, bingo, you’ve got a ready made icing device. 3. The Condom DressIf you thought male condoms could only be worn by men, then think again. With a bit of imagination, male condoms can be worn by women too - in the form of a dress! A condom dress featuring 480 strategically woven condoms was the star attraction of an exhibition in Riga, the capital of Latvia. A variety of condom styles and colours were used to create the dress, which just goes to show that condom variety is important. You can get a glimpse of this crafty condom creation in this video. 4. The Condom Football Clever condom ball There may be times when you’ve been fooling around with your mates, blown air into a condom and made a football, but in some parts of the world, there are children doing this seriously. In Mozambique, for example, where toys and games are scarce, the children use condoms that are given out free for safe sex for alternative purposes. Several condoms are used in the ball creations and they’re cleverly tied up with raffia and have rags sewn together over them to produce a soft, light and very sturdy ball. 5. The Condom Stress BallCondoms are designed to be filled up, so it’s not surprising that someone’s come up with the idea of filling them with flour (isn’t it?!). Yes, with some creative thinking, a condom and a bag of flour, you could quickly and effortlessly make your own stress ball. Just think of all the sexual stress you could relieve. Intrigued? Check out the video clip to find out exactly how to make your own condom stress ball. 6. The Condom Golf Club Cover Clever condom golf club cover In a similar way to the condom umbrella cover, a condom – especially an extra long one – could be the ideal solution for housing your golf clubs. They’re cheaper than conventional golf club covers, are nice and waterproof and easy to get on and off. And if you’re ever cut short and feel in the need for sex when you’re off playing golf, you’ll never be without a useful supply of condoms. 7. The Condom Rocket (or Condom Bomb)If you can make balls from condoms, then how about rockets and bombs? One woman has tried this, as you can see for yourself in the funny video. Heather LaCroix is shown attempting to make a rocket out of one condom, some Mentos and diet coke. It could very well have been successful, but in the end it turned into more of a condom bomb – quite a combination! 8. The Condom Portable Fish TankRemember the polythene bags that used to be used to house fish in at the fair? Well, they could easily have been condoms, couldn’t they? Yes, a condom could serve as a jolly useful portable fish tank. Just think – when you’re cleaning out the fish tank, transporting a new fish home or going on holiday, you could pop your fish and some water in a condom and take it with you.  Wow, it holds fish, too? 9. The Comdom Dry Ice HolderFor another slightly bizarre experiment involving one condom, Heather LaCroix this time attempts to see what happens if you fill a condom with a lump of dry ice (not something most people have lying around). It’s a rather bizarre idea, but if you want to see the results for yourself, then watch the video clip! 10. The Condom Bike Handle Cover Keep your handles germ-free with condoms Germs get everywhere, including on bike handles, and with many people sharing bikes (apparently), germs could be being passed around and around. But not any more. The humble condom has another fantastic use – in the world of shared bikes, it’s being used as a bike handle cover. We’re serious. Specialist bike shops in Barcelona are selling condom bike handle covers for the serious bikers amongst them, to help prevent the spread of germs. With a potential swine flu epidemic on the horizon, just think how they could work for door handles… And finally…As condoms are so infinitely useful, why not stock up on some supplies?
When the urge strikes, it’s hard to resist. But we bet there are some people out there who wished they had! There are some places that, however horny you may feel, really aren’t the best places to have sex – but that doesn’t stop people! When the urge strikes, it’s hard to resist, as the following people clearly found out. We’ve dug through the dirt and the sex scandals and found five true stories of some of the crazy places people were caught having sex.
1. Caught having sex in a confession box Confessional sex Er, yes, you did read that right. Confession boxes in Catholic churches are traditionally used to go and confess your sins, for example about having impure thoughts about sex. But one couple took things a bit further, by having sex in the confession box! A parishioner in the Cesena cathedral in northern Italy called police after hearing strange noises, including rustling and groaning, coming from the inside of the confession box when he was attending morning Mass. When the police arrived, they pulled back the curtains surrounding the confession box and revealed a goth-rock couple engaged in oral sex. The rather dubious excuse for their behaviour was that they were atheists, so for them, ‘having sex in church is like doing it any other place.’ Yeah, right. Not surprisingly, Bishop Antonio Lanfranchi of Cesana-Sarsina wasn’t convinced and planned to have a special ceremony to purify the confession box after their behaviour. 2. Caught having sex on the Queen’s lawn at Windsor Castle Sex on the menu at Queen's des res One British couple had a right royal romp, on no less than the Queen’s lawns at Windsor Castle! Yes, it’s true – the two tourists, both in their 30s and apparently drunk, stripped their clothes off in broad daylight and in full view of other tourists, and had sex on the Queen’s lawn. Clearly ignoring all of the polite, “Please Keep Off The Grass,” signs dotted around the Windsor Castle lawns, the pair were blissfully ignorant of the attention they gained as they indulged in their sexual act. Other tourists stopped to watch, videoing their sexual activities and taking photos, the Irish Guard sentries opened the windows of their barracks and cheered them on and genteel hotel guests from across the road couldn’t believe the sight before them. The sexual action is believed to have continued for 10 to 15 minutes, before uniformed and armed Royal Protection Squad Officers arrived on the scene and arrested the pair. The couple were kept in cells overnight and then cautioned the next day for outraging public decency. 3. Caught having sex in a garbage dumpster Hmm, how about here for a spot of sex? It certainly can’t win the award for the most romantic place to have sex. In fact, you’ve got to wonder what on earth they were thinking of Whilst most people happily dump their rubbish into garbage dumpsters, one couple merrily jumped in too and had sex in there! The couple were found in British Columbia when an officer heard strange noises coming from the inside of a large garbage dumpster. He initially called out, but got no response, so went to investigate. When he shined his torch in, the light revealed a completely nude couple actively engaged in sex. Not surprisingly, the outcome was that the officer ordered them to disentangle, put their clothes on and get out of the dumpster. 4. Caught having sex on a BMW car
 Sex on the hood, anyone? Not everyone is lucky enough to win the lottery, but things went a bit downhill for this lotto winner when he was caught in a sexual act with his new road companion. After winning $3.9m in the lotto, one chap in Canada clearly spend some of his winnings by splashing out on a luxury BMW M5 sedan car. However, one night when he was out on the town, he decided to pull up his car and have sex with a woman on the hood of his car. All in all, not one of his luckiest days, but another he’ll probably remember, if only for very different reasons than his win. 5. Caught having sex on the beach Sexy beach action On the surface, it doesn’t sound that crazy. There’s something about having sex on the beach that many people aspire to (probably encouraged by watching too many romantic films), yet the reality of sand getting stuck in awkward places often puts people off the moment they try. Unfortunately for one couple, they didn’t get a chance to be put off by the way grains of sand feel, as they got caught in the act first. It doesn’t sound like too big a deal, but when you’re having sex on a beach in Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates, where public decency rules, it sure is. The two Brits who were caught romping on the Dubai beach faced more than just cautions – sex on the beach led to them being fined and imprisoned for three months. The woman, who was allegedly on top when they were caught, also lost her job as a result of it, fired because she violated a decency clause in her contract. There’s a clear moral in this story – be careful what you do in Dubai, and especially where you act upon your sexual urges! If you like this, have a read of 15 more of the funniest places to be caught having sex.
It’s not an unusual to get a sudden urge to have sex, but it’s not quite so usual for people to have a sudden urge for sex with a weird object. That, however, is what does occasionally happen, like the scene in American Pie where the character Jim Levenstein tries out sex with an apple pie! Some horny souls not only have sex with weird objects, but they’re unlucky enough to get caught in the act. We’ve rounded up true stories of eight of the weirdest objects to be caught having sex with. 1. Caught having sex with a picnic tableOne American man clearly has quite a penchant for sex with objects, as he was caught having sex with a picnic table on at least four different occasions. His neighbour, who filmed him performing with the picnic table, said the incidents took place in broad daylight in the town of Bellevue in Ohio.  Sex with a picnic table? The nude man apparently picked a favourite metal picnic table and used the hole where the sun umbrella usually sits to have sex with it (novel, eh?). However, he was unfortunately caught – and the video evidence was rather damning – and he faced several charges of public indecency. 2. Caught having sex with a fence Metal fence Being drunk was the excuse for this poor man, who allegedly attempted to have sex with a fence in the West End of London. The man was out drinking in central London, when he announced that he was going to have sex with a fence. He subsequently got decidedly up close and personal with a metal fence in Leicester Square Gardens, but was arrested by police for being drunk and disorderly. 3. Caught having sex with a bicycleFor one Scottish chap, it was his beloved bicycle which he yearned to ride – just not in the conventional way. Dubbed a ‘cycle-sexualist’ he was caught having sex with his bicycle whilst staying at a hostel, naked from the waist down.  Fancy a ride? Two cleaners caught him in a compromising position with his bike and witnessed his avid hip moving sexual act. He’s now been separated from his bike and put on probation for three years. 4. Caught having sex with a lamp postBest known for being a great source of light and a favourite place for dogs to urinate against, it’s perhaps not exactly normal to think of lamp posts as a great object to have sex with. But one man did.  Lamp post - do you find it attractive? He was caught having sex with a lamppost in the town of Westbury, in Wiltshire, UK. Police were called to the scene after he was scene loitering and acting suspiciously in the area and, when they arrived, they caught him in the act of having sex with the post. 5. Caught having sex with a Henry HooverThe quirkily named Henry Hoover’s are best known as being the smiley faced, red and black portable vacuum cleaners used in homes and offices worldwide. But one Polish worker in the UK clearly got a bit too attracted to Henry’s smiley face and long hose.  Henry Hoover - full of sex appeal? The building contractor was caught having sex with Henry the Hoover in a hospital staff canteen. Thankfully it was out of hours, but the security guard that caught him was more than a tad surprised to see Henry being used in such a way. It’s also handy to try and come up with an excuse for such behaviour, but would you believe that that the chap claimed he was cleaning his underpants and that it was common to do it in that way in Poland?! Nah, it doesn’t really cut it, does it? 6. Caught having sex with a pasta jar….whilst drivingA man in New South Wales, Australia, discovered a new use for a pasta jar. Not only great for storing pasta, but it seems some jars could be good for having sex with too.  Something for you? But the man got caught with his new obsession, after trying it out whilst driving. Police initially saw him acting suspiciously in his car and thought he may have a weapon in his lap. After a police chase, when he refused to stop the car, they caught up with him and discovered a pasta jar around his penis. The man clearly didn’t want to stop his sexual action and was said to, “continue pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling.” Eventually, after using batons and capsicum spray, the police did manage to get him out of the car (and, I guess, the jar off his penis), and he was arrested and fined. 7. Caught having sex with a pavementMost of us are happy merely walking on them, but one man in the UK loved pavements so much that he wanted to have sex with them too.  Pavement sex, anyone? It wasn’t just a single, once-in-a-blue-moon moment either – he was seen on several occasions lying semi-naked on pavements having sex with the concrete. Not surprisingly, his outdoor pavement romps didn’t go down too well with the law, and he was jailed for 18 months. His sentence didn’t quite change his antics though, as he was subsequently back in court a few years later, on charges for simulating sex with black plastic dustbin bags! 8. Having sex with a (lot of) carsThe love of cars has been taken to a whole new level, by this man, from Washington. Although he’s not been caught in the act as such, according to him, he’s bedded a grand total of 999 cars – and that doesn’t just involve stroking and cleaning them.  Cars, cars, cars The man admits he’s had a lifelong sexual desire for cars and first had sex with a car at the age of 15. As well as cars, he’s also had a sexual experience with a helicopter! It may seem rather on the weird side, but being sexually attracted to cars isn’t entirely unknown. In fact, people who experience sexual desire for cars or other machines are termed mechaniphiliacs.
It’s not unusual to suddenly feel the need to have sex and sexual desire can strike when you’re in the strangest of places. Whilst some people manage to put the thought to one side and wait until they’re home later, others can’t resist the urge and have to find somewhere suitable to fulfil their needs.
Unfortunately for some, their sexual needs are their top priority and their choice of quickie sex venue doesn’t seem to be thought through that well. Some even end up getting caught in the act, and in some seriously funny places too. Here we highlight 15 true stories of the funniest places to be caught having sex! 1. Caught having sex outside a police station Park here.... When you’re looking for a place to indulge in a quick bit of sex, then it would be wise to carefully check the surrounding area first. That’s clearly what this couple forgot to do, as they chose to have sex in their car right outside a police station. They were found by a policeman enjoying the act outside the main police station in Hellertown, Pennsylvania, with the car engine still running. The couple, who’d earlier been at a university function, had randomly pulled their car into a disabled space outside the police station – failing to notice several police cars parked nearby. The male in the car ended up being charged for drink driving. 2. Caught having sex on a police car How about sex on that bonnet? If it wasn’t funny enough to be caught having sex outside a police station, then would you believe one couple went as far as having sex on the bonnet of a police car? It’s true! The big event took place in Groningen, in the Netherlands, when a 25-year-old man and his 33-year-old partner took a fancy to the bonnet of the police car. Even more bizarre was that they apparently didn’t notice the two policemen sitting in the car….they must have got quite a view! 3. Caught having sex on a craneIt’s got to be one of the most unusual places to even think about sex on, but one couple in Florida really did come up with the idea of having sex on a construction crane….and they didn’t just think it, they did it!  Hmm, is that a good place for sex? The couple, who must have a good head for heights, climbed onto the crane in the middle of the day for a quick spot of passion. A naked foot was spotted sticking out of the railing high above the ground and the stunned members of the public called the Punta Gorda police. No-one else ventured up onto the crane to stop the couple, but they were called down by the police using a public address system. They got off with a mere warning, as the man’s dad turned out to own the crane. 4. Caught having sex on top of a car How d'ya fancy sex up there? The top of a car was the unlikely choice for a sexual liaison of the drunken kind for a couple at the University of New Hampshire. Not surprisingly, their intriguing location was easily spotted and resulted in them being caught. The police were called and the male involved was arrested for criminal trespassing and resisting arrest. 5. Caught having sex in prison Prison romp location It’s not hard to understand the frustration couples must go through when one of them ends up in prison. But it’s not common for the one left behind to break into the prison in order to have sex! However, that’s the cunning plan that one woman from the UK came up with when her husband ended up in jail. One evening, during the early hours, she climbed over a fence and sneaked into Standford Hill open prison, an all-male prison on the Isle of Sheppey in Kent. Her husband was eagerly waiting for her and they enjoyed a quick romp in his cell, before she left again. The plan unfortunately went a bit awry, when she was caught in the grounds trying to leave. She was arrested, but released without charge, but her husband was later moved to a higher security prison. 6. Caught having sex in a shopping centre Shopping or sex? It would be bad enough just getting caught having sex in the middle of a busy shopping centre, but one man in Germany went that bit further. Yes, he was caught having sex in a shopping centre with a blow-up doll. His excuse may have been that he was drunk and rather worse for wear, but even so, it’s not the greatest idea he ever had. He was caught in mid-action and the police apparently had difficulty separating him from the blow-up doll (ewww!). 7. Caught having sex on a bed display in a department store Fancy a quickie? When they’re shopping for new beds, most people feel a bit shy and embarrassed about trying out the goods. But the lure of a bed became too much for one young teenage couple in the US, who chose to make full use of a bed display in a department store. The 19-year-old and 17-year-old were caught making out in a Dillard’s Department Store, having sex on one of the beds in the shop. They were discovered after an unsuspecting customer stumbled upon them and reported them to the manager. The police were called and they were arrested for obscenity. The moral of the story: if you see a bed in a store, resist the urge… 8. Caught having sex outside a mayor’s office The Mayor's Office If you’re going to have sex in broad daylight, then trying to be at least a tiny bit discrete is advisable. For one Argentinian couple, though, there was no such discreteness involved. The couple, in their mid-30s, stripped naked, and had sex in broad daylight on a bench outside the mayor’s office in Bariloche. Not surprisingly, they attracted the attention of passers by and quite a crowd gathered to watch the spectacle. After being arrested for disrespecting public space and indecent exposure, the woman apparently admitted to a long-term fantasy about having sex outside the mayor’s office. Hmmm. 9. Caught having sex in the sea Copter arrives during moment of passion It’s not unusual for films to portray having sex in the sea as a great experience to try out, so perhaps that’s what happened to this couple. They were caught having sex in the sea off De Panne in Belgium, after a member of the public spotted them in the water and thought they were struggling, fighting for their lives and almost drowning. However, after a Sea King rescue helicopter was despatched from a military base in Koksijde, together with a lifeboat and local police officers, they eventually discovered that the couple weren’t in fact drowning, but were having sex. 10. Caught having sex outside a bank Stop here to... It wasn’t quite banking on the mind of one couple, who chose the grass outside the Colonial Bank in South Santa Barbara Boulevard, as their perfect choice for a spot of outdoor sex. The 43-year-old and 27-year-old were caught in the act, the police were called and they ended up getting charged for lewd and lascivious behaviour and disorderly conduct. 11. Caught having sex at a tram stop.jpg "Croydon tram") Good place for sex? It’s notably boring waiting for public transport to arrive and ingenious time-killing methods can help aid boredom. One couple in the UK caused quite a stir when they were caught stark naked, having sex, by a CCTV camera at a tram stop in Croydon, South London.  Do you think he saw them? The drunken couple were clearly enjoying their sexual adventure so much that they carried on with the act, even after British Transport Police used the public address system to tell them to stop. They eventually finished their moment of passion and were arrested. 12. Caught having sex in an airport corridorWe’ve all heard of the mile high club, but how about the airport corridor club? Yes, an airport corridor was the venue for a spot of time-wasting by two people who met in the departure terminal at Manchester Airport.  Quiet corridor When their flight was delayed, the couple, a Brit and Swede, crept off to a corridor – surprisingly close to the BMI check-in desk at Terminal 3 – and had sex on their coats in the airport corridor. Their moment of passion was spotted by a security guard, but by the time police arrived, they’d finished their sexual act, so got away without being charged for indecency. 13. Caught having sex in a library Is sex allowed here? Libraries are traditionally known as quiet places, where you go to study, research, look at books or generally expand your knowledge. For this couple, you could say their knowledge was expanded – but not exactly in the usual library way. The young couple were caught having sex in the Clarksville-Montgomery County Public Library recently. Although they had at least resisted the urge to get hot and steamy amongst the books (perhaps the erotic section would have been appropriate?), and ended up in the men’s restroom instead, they still got charged for public indecency. They’ve also been banned from the library, so no more reading for them. 14. Caught having sex in a car…by the edge of a mountain Quickie in the back  Would you park here? It’s not that unusual to have sex in the back seat of a car, but you do need to pick your location a bit carefully. A pair of lovers in Taiwan fancied doing just that and chose the top of a deserted mountain road for their sexual conquest. Unfortunately, they forgot to put the handbrake on (pretty crucial if you’re on a mountain) and the rocking motion caused by their frantic sex in the back seat started the car moving. Not only did it move, but the whole car plunged 150ft down the side of the mountain. Amazingly, despite gaining minor injuries, the couple managed to avoid being seriously hurt. The moral of the story? Always check the handbrake before hopping into the back seat. 15. Caught having sex whilst driving The mind's not on driving... Sex in, or on, cars seem to feature a fair bit in our top 15, so it’s not entirely surprising that there’s one more to come. Yes, several people have indeed been caught having sex whilst driving. A newly wed 70-year-old clearly couldn’t wait to bed his new 59-year-old bride and had sex with her as they drove away from their wedding reception! Traffic police in Northern Italy were called after the Fiat Punto was seen veering from side to side on a busy road. Once stopped, they found the partially naked man in the driving seat with his new bride sitting astride him. He was arrested for dangerous driving.  How to have sex in a car If you want to know how to do it the right way in the car just try the CARMA SUTRA auto-erotic hand book Elsewhere in Oslo, Norway, a couple were caught in a similar scenario. Police stopped their car after it was seen veering erratically on a motorway and at speeding at 133kmh in a 100kmh zone. Inside, they discovered the woman sitting on the man’s lap and the couple actively having sex. The male Norwegian driver now faces a fine and may lose his driving license. If you’re out and about and feeling in need of a quickie, it may be wise to think twice, as you never know who could catch you in the act!
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but not whilst driving!